Your little hate machine is back. I’m so sorry I left you; I promise I won’t do it ever again baby. You know I love you; I had to do it because I love you so much. Please stop crying baby. I know what you need to feel better. How about some mother fucking fury from the bombshell herself? Gather around for a little story my children. You know, I got a speeding ticket a while back. But I deserved it. But Clackamas County still felt the need to ass fuck me and give a fine that was equivalent to ….. But that isn’t what is on my mind. My beloveds (all 1.5 of you), I got pulled over again this week. And I got a speeding ticket. I GOT PULLED OVER BY CAMPUS SECURITY. I mean what the holy fuck?! Where did this fat fucking bastard get a speed gun? I have listened to my school for the past six months beg the taxpayers for more money, and raise my tuition because they just couldn’t keep important programs without more money. You know what they bought? A speed gun. So some ginormous cow could sit in the far corners of my campus where no one could possibly be in danger of getting run over and check people’s speed. While she noshes on greasy dripping bacon (no donuts, she’s on the fatkin’s fucking plan!) making her too small uniform cry even more pitifully at the seams, and grimace at the buttons. She sits there and waits the public safety ass ratchet; she flips those pretty flashing lights on her glorified Geo Tracker and pulls you over. Do you know how humiliating that is? The cunt is all cheery about it too. Get a life you fat worthless piece of molding curdled discharge. Go do something that will actually increase public safety. What you ask? Oh how about the people who drive fast where people can actually walk? Maybe you could stop that creepy stalker guy that has asked for my number about 300 times. My friend KayCee gave her number to him once, he called about 30 times a day. Remember when the guy in the wheelchair rolled into the pond and drowned? Maybe you could have stopped that if you weren’t sitting on that thing you call your ass. It doesn’t count as an ass if it is bigger than I am. I hope that creepy stalker guy takes your precious speed gun and shoves it in the first hole he can find and then fucks you in all the rest (provided he can find them all. I have some flour and a sharpie if he is having trouble). Although I suggest he stick the speed gun in your mouth, so you can’t say, “now have a great day!” after he fucks you in the nose.
3 Comments:
By the way guys, she gives tickets to people going 2 miles over the speed limit too, I hear about others like me every day...such a tragedy. We should band together, hunt the little wannabe pig and roast her for dinner. with a speed gun in her mouth instead of an apple of course.
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I say we get a large truck like the ones used to transport african big game drag her from her car with it take her into the woods and tie her to a stake and just out of her reach put pizzas hamburgers and twinkys then take turns usin the gun to clock her. And I love the cock.
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